Cowboy Observations that Make You Think - with Special Guests Bri Siegert, Jillian Watts, and Brandi Preston.

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Cowboys, not Eggheads. Home of the brave, not home of the fearful. The world needs more cowboys and fewer eggheads. We're everywhere podcasts are found. So tell your fellow cowboys. And let's keep the conversation alive on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Remember to subscribe, rate, review, and share. And now, Cowboys Not Eggheads with Sam Fisher.

SPEAKER_05 0:32

Welcome back to Cowboys Not Eggheads, one of the top 5% podcasts in the entire world. Heard in 104 countries the last I counted. Sam's army, the girls, whatever. And what I thought I'd do today is something fun and light. And uh throughout the year, I I see things or I see statements that remind me of you guys, maybe one of you in particular, or maybe all three of you at once. And so what I thought we'd do, just as kind of a fun thing, is uh these are basically cowboy observations that make you think. That's what I that's what I'm calling this. So we're gonna throw out five cowboy observations, and there's no right answer. We're just going to unpack them and see where the conversation goes. So welcome back, uh, real quickly to to Jillian, star of the Jillian show, family of four children, who's busy all the time. Welcome back to Brandy Preston, who is eight months pregnant, um, who's also very busy with her sales job, and to Brie Seegert, who has got at least half a dozen jobs, but uh she's trying to lighten her load. Um, but you guys are the three of the the busiest people I know, so I I uh I really, really appreciate appreciate your time today. So here we go. The first observation today is taken straight from Jillian Watts and her podcast. Or maybe it was the Instagram something that you posted, and I really liked it. And that is your brain is not your soul. Your brain is not your soul. Yeah. Who's gonna take this bad boy? Yeah. I liked it. So the reason I liked it is because uh it kind of separates that think and feel thing almost for me, you know, that that dichotomy that I've going through in this little journey of this podcast. Um, you know, uh I apparently I'm I'm feeling more these days, but um, I'm a thinker first, and um the my brain is always the one that kind of controls how I react to things, but my soul is who I am, it's my identity. And uh getting sober almost three years ago was really helped with that process as well. Um, it's been a tremendous amount of clarity. So I really, really thought it was cool, Jill. Um, where did you come up with that at?

SPEAKER_03 3:18

I'm sure I saw it somewhere and then it stuck to me in the way that I worded it. I feel like the notion of it was very like poignant to me. Um, but then when I like process things on my own, I feel like I have to give it different words, if that makes sense. And I think for me, and probably we can all relate to this, and I'm sorry it's like raining really hard where I am. Um, but I think for me it is helpful to separate the two and to make it known out loud and kind of like on the forefront of as I'm living, because I often feel like a push and pull between is this something that I'm like filtering or handling logistically, like the machine side of things, which I would say is my brain, or is it something that I'm handling or looking at like in a more soulful or I guess a spiritual way or a more intuitive way? Um, and now as I think about that, it's something like I think there is time and space for both of those things. Sometimes you should be leading with your head, and sometimes you should be leading with your heart. You need both of those things together, and so just knowing that they're not the same thing for me lets me have clarity and kind of um a sense of control or security in my life as I'm like moving through it, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_04 4:51

Yeah. That reminds me a lot. Have you ever read the book The Chimp Paradox? Have any of you read that or heard of it? Chimp? No. CH The Chimp Paradox. It's honestly one of the best mindset books I've probably ever read because that's basically what it is is like it separates your brain into two halves, like your chimp brain and your human brain. And the chimp brain is what our reaction is. That's like our initial reaction, and it's like our survival side where it's like hunger, food, sleep, sex, whatever this thing is that happened to us, like I'm immediately gonna respond with the first feeling I have. But then there's the human side of things that if you slow down and wait a second, start talking yourself through the scenario, it's like, okay, is this really that bad? And like your human side kind of separates, you know, what your reaction is versus your response. Um, so very highly recommend that book. But that's what that reminded me of.

SPEAKER_05 5:48

Brandy, how is it eight months pregnant? Is your uh how does how does that apply?

SPEAKER_01 5:55

Um I think of it in a couple different ways. One the first that came to mind is kind of a political issue, but the pro-life issue. Um, I work in prenatal genetics, and so our abortion ban in Nebraska is at 12 weeks, but a lot of times people don't know if their pregnancy is viable at that point. And so when they learn information like your baby is, you know, not viable and it has like a trisomy 13 or 18, and then we're saying that this mom just has to wait for this baby to die inside of her. My brain says that is not fair. Um, but then my soul says, but that is a human life, you know. Um so that's one thing I really in my day job I struggle with because it's you know, I've had a number of losses, and I do think of a life is a life. Um, and however long that life should live, it should be given that opportunity. But I also don't think a mom should have to wait to start bleeding while she's walking through Costco. Um but I think we struggle with these kind of tugs every day, right? Like for me, that's one, or I think of like COVID, you know, a lot of people really got caught up in the mask mandates and the vaccines and lost friends and neighbors and um things because of that. Um when, you know, in our soul, it's like we should be loving everyone for who they are, not if they got a vaccine or if they're wearing a mask, um, and kind of getting caught up in those things. So the things that came to my mind were political in nature, but very um thought-provoking, Jillian.

SPEAKER_05 7:30

You're probably the most political person on this podcast, Brandy. Uh more so than me, even. Um, you're very I was gonna say really very passionate.

SPEAKER_06 7:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:41

Yeah, no, really. Um, she's brand Brandy's very passionate about these things, clearly. Um, and I I love it. I love it. Um okay, the next one is a Sam Fisher dandy. I don't think anyone's ever, ever said this before. I'm lying. But I love it. I love it. And it is three words, four words. One, two, three, four. Five words is five words. Hope is not a strategy. Hope is not a strategy. Thoughts, feelings.

SPEAKER_04 8:22

Um, I think of it immediately. Like I just kind of I think of CrossFit um and competing. And you know, sometimes people show up to a workout and just hope that they can go at it guns blazon and hope for the best without strategizing or preparing beforehand. Um I think of you know, a lot of competitive workouts, like if you don't practice them um and you just go into it blind, you're trying to use hope as a strategy, which doesn't always pay off. And um, usually when the plan or when the pain arises, you don't have a plan and then you forfeit to your um preparation, which is none, right? So then you've already lost the workout and you've lost the competition. And I'm also thinking that because I had an old coach that used to say that.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

Yeah, there's no substitute for good old-fashioned hard work.

SPEAKER_04 9:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:19

Yeah, I feel like when I I hear a lot of people, um, and I guess like fitness journey related, a lot of people who, oh, I wish I could do what you do, or you know, one day I this, and I'm like, we're the same, we're the same people in that sense. Um, and I think a lot of people they think that other people who are doing things separate from them are different in that way. Um, and really it's not, it's just that you you cannot use hope as something like I think it's important to have it, but I think it's too broad and it's too loose, and there's nothing actionable about it. And so hope to me is almost a word I don't even like because I'm like, this it gives the human being nothing to hold on to. Like it's just this thing floating around in your brain that makes you maybe feel positive. But then at the same time, if you're having hope, that's insinuating that there's something wrong or something that you don't have, and there's really nothing concrete that you can um connect yourself to to try to move in whatever direction or do whatever you're hoping for. Um, so I I agree 100% with that.

SPEAKER_04 10:41

Well, it's also relying on external factors that you can't control. So it's like anytime you're in a situation that you have to focus like more internally, like if you're hoping that you know people buy your product, or if you're hoping the competition just decides to like not try very hard that day, that's a really fickle strategy to rely on. And you should really just be focusing on the things that you can control, which is yourself, your actions, you know, your preparation, things like that, not anything outside of you.

SPEAKER_05 11:16

Now I will say I'm the guy that said the thing, so I should I'm I'm about to get the softest position on this thing. Um, hope, hope, I, I, I hope is definitely not a strategy. If you want to do X, Y, and Z in CrossFit or building a business or selling a product, or any, as you say, any actionable item, it's not a strategy. It's it's it's that's that's not what's gonna get you. How however, it is a very emotional thing that people do wish for and relate to. I go back to no, we're gonna get political again. I go back to 2008. Barack Obama was running for president, and what did he say? All he said was hope and change. That's all he said. We need hope, we need change. It was a very uh emotional, and that's why I I mean I, you know, clearly it's like fluff. You can't change a country by hope, but you can direct a country by hope, and you can lead by by having a spirit of hope, I suppose. Um so I think about that, and then I think about the line. I think maybe we discussed this in a previous podcast. Uh, I can't remember. But there the the line from one of my the favorite my favorite movie of all time, which Jill probably still hasn't seen, and we did discuss this, is uh Shawshank Redemption. Sha Shawshank Redemption. There there's a um there's a pivotal scene in that movie where there's a discussion between the two main characters, and one of the characters is a crusting old inmate, um, and the other character is someone that that's looking forward, always ends up spoiler, breaks out of the damn prison. But um it it was uh it was uh uh hope. They were talking about hope, and and uh the the the the the little hardened convict said that will get you killed in here, hope. I mean get get that out of your mind. But the other inmate who did end up breaking out the next day said, Well get busy, you know, you break it busy busy living or busy dying. Anyway, it's a really cool, cool moment in the movie, and it's it's it it harnesses the power of hope. Um, but the guy didn't he didn't solely break out of the prison because of hope. He he dug out of the prison because he was patient and dug a hole in the wall over a course of many years. Um but it was the hope that kept him kept him digging that hole. So anyway, I just uh I don't want to say the hope is bad, but I think if you want to get from point A to B, um, you know it's it's not gonna get you there.

SPEAKER_03 14:06

You've got to have it's a macro thing, it's not a macro.

SPEAKER_04 14:09

You've got to have it in unison with like your own self-determination.

SPEAKER_03 14:12

Yeah, it's something that like opens the door for something else, but I think you can't just bet on that in isolation.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Yeah, you have to have a plan, you have to work for it, but you can hope that it all goes according to your plan. You don't have to go to plan B, you know.

SPEAKER_05 14:27

Yeah, yeah, it's a it's a positive and it's a positive thing in a negative world. Um, so anyway, okay. The third one is definitely a Sam Fisher one. Um, Brandy may have heard it, and uh I actually uh I didn't realize that I I'd adopted it so often in my career, but I repeat it as a mantra over and over and over again. And and uh I don't know, a year or two ago I did a a podcast with people I'd worked with 20 years earlier on a presidential campaign, and they quoted this back to me. I'm like, yeah, um, because I was I was leading them. And and that is sleep when you're dead.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

I like this one. I like this one. Um, I mean, I you know, self-care is important.

SPEAKER_06 15:16

Like, ooh, but balance.

SPEAKER_05 15:24

There is no balance. There is no balance.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

Oh, all the time.

SPEAKER_05 15:29

Go ahead, Brandy. Did I do you remember me saying that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

I mean, especially like, you know, the week before an election, it's like we were up all hours of the day and sleep when we're dead, we'll sleep out, you know, the day after the election. Um, there's work to be done. So well, I just think there's there's so much to see and do and experience in this life if we just sit here and wait for things to happen or you know, come up with all these excuses. Like you'll look back at the end of your life and what a waste, you know. So take opportunities as they come and and live it.

SPEAKER_05 16:02

Yep. Going back to a goggins uh thing, and that is he says he wants to, when he's done with his life, he wants to take like a washcloth and just have every single little tiny oce of that water out of that wash cloth.

SPEAKER_03 16:17

I'm gonna be the I'm gonna give a surprise answer here. So my word of the year this year is actually rest. Um because I like could feel the burnout. And I think it's really important that because I'm a person that goes like a million miles an hour, and I guess sleep when you're dead, but like your cup also has to be full. I think that a lot of um, especially moms, just high-performing people who have so much on their plate, it's really easy and it's really, I guess, socially acceptable to like watch people push themselves to the brink. And you can do that for a short amount of time, but that's not like a long-term way to live. And so I love that, like for me, I love that I can do that for the short term. But it was like as I was looking around, I'm like, this short term is kind of looking long term, like it's a little longer term than what I was thinking, and so I have to like find some way in my life where I can replenish. So I still love sleep when you're dead, but like I now have to at least six days a week, I'm like meditating for 20 minutes and it's a block in my day that I have to have, or like it's not gonna be great for myself or the people around me. And so I think I love sleep when you're dead, but I think with that you have to, you have to have something that you're still pouring back into yourself and giving yourself what you need to be able to keep up whatever pace. And I think that looks different for different people for sure.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

Julian, I think that's a really good point. Like I find myself, like I work in sales, and so it's like I'm busy all day and then I come home and do all my administrative stuff at night, and then you know, next thing I know, it's bedtime, and I'm like, I haven't done anything with my family tonight, you know. And I think sleep when you're dead, it's like we need to be prioritizing the things that really matter most. And I think we can easily get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life and the things that we need to check off the list. But are we really pouring into the things that really matter most? And I know I'm guilty of not doing that. And um, that's been like one thing we've been trying to prioritize in our house is like, let's do things that we want to do and that, you know, make us happier. Um, because doing my administrative work till eight or nine o'clock at night is not making me happier, right? Um and I'll look back, you know, at the end of my life, I'll look back and I won't, you know, I'll regret not spending time with my family or, you know, my son's only gonna be, you know, little so long, right? Um, and I don't want to look back on I spend all these nights working instead of you know playing games or playing catch or you know, doing Artemis things. Um yeah, I think we just have to prioritize. Yeah, we jazzed about that right now. Oh my gosh, it's so cool, you guys.

SPEAKER_03 19:26

Oh yeah. I bet like witnessing him witness that.

SPEAKER_05 19:31

I I I well I I texted I texted Brandy that yeah, I was I was like jack jacked up. I'm like, I don't know who's more excited right now, me or P or Peyton.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

I mean, he tells me he's gonna go to Mars, and I said I hope they have FaceTime.

SPEAKER_03 19:50

Good luck. Yep.

SPEAKER_05 19:52

That's so good heads, go egg heads.

SPEAKER_04 19:56

All right, Bree, what do you think? I mean, Julianne kind of pointed out something that she she said something about um like see like uh this is short term, and I sometimes look at it as seasons. Like there's just gonna be seasons where like you're busier, you're not busy, but um, you know, I'm currently going through that. Like I'm working two pretty full-time jobs right now and phasing out of one just to like be able to breathe a little bit because I am working every day and bring work home at night and I'm staying up late to finish things and um you know, am like on my phone all the time responding to people and stuff like that. And that does like I've been through it before, I know what that feels like getting to that point. And but because I work with people and I'm serving people a lot, if I let that happen, like they start to take a hit too because it starts to get hard to respond to people, and then you know, my phone goes off and I just can't even look at it, you know. Like if I get to that point, I'm not serving anybody, even though for like a short period of time I'm like, you know, rock on, like I can do this forever. I can't. Um, and I just working with people one-on-one, I always like urge people to be careful when they say, like, oh, this season's almost done, or like when this season's over, I'll be okay. Because usually that season gets over and then something else pops up, and like it never really the grind just never really stops. But if you're constantly like taking on too much or just constantly saying yes to appease other people, you know, like that's where you can start to get into that uh like burnout area and that takes like time to recover from, you know. Um, once you're like in the burnout phase, it's almost too late. And then you have to pull back on a lot of things versus seeing it ahead of time and seeing, you know, if I take on this extra thing and I'm not seeing my family or I'm not spending time with my boyfriend, or I'm not able to like I don't have the mental energy to like pick up the phone when my parents call, you know, that's not a good thing. And I think that in service industries, whatever that is for you, which I think in some way everybody kind of works in that, but however you're Serving people, you know, you can't serve from an empty cup, and it's so true. You know, once that cup starts overfilling, it takes way more work to try to dial it back than it ever did before.

SPEAKER_05 22:11

Yeah. And I I will say that Sleep When You're Dead was was created out of um deadline. Because I was in the deadline-driven industry, and and when we you have to make deadlines, there's just you have time is the is your is your key resource. And so, you know, what I really meant by that, I mean it it sounds hardcore and this, that, and the other, but what I really meant about that was is that focus. I mean, I think that's really what that means, is don't jack around, get your shit in and get it done. Um, and if if we've got to work at two o'clock in the morning to get the shit done, we're gonna work at two o'clock in the morning to get the shit done. And I have I have worked at every hour that exists in my life. Um, you know, at three o'clock in the morning, having a client tell me I've got to change it to a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a season two, you've got to go up in 12.

SPEAKER_04 23:06

You just can't you don't you can't be distracted.

SPEAKER_05 23:10

Yes. And and that's right. And and that's why after election seasons, I typically because you're going 5,000 miles an hour and it ends.

SPEAKER_03 23:21

Oh, you crash.

SPEAKER_05 23:22

And guess what happened?

SPEAKER_03 23:23

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:24

Yours truly got depressed. Depression. Like depression. I ran a mayor's race one time, and every it was just like, you know, we it was it historically, it's probably one of the best. Well, the hell with it, I'm gonna brag about myself. It it was the the one of the best, hardest fought victories in Omaha mayor history in 2017. Brandy knows she was there. Um and you know, victory. We we made it, you know, we made it. And then the next day, the entire staff like packed up their desk and left. And I'm sitting in this office by myself, very quiet. And I've never had a wave of depression hit me like that because I wasn't sleeping when I was dead, and now it's all over. Now now I'm dead, I guess. But um, yeah, it was a it's a seasonal thing that I that I I always would say, and I don't really expect people not to sleep. Uh I I I now, you know, I still have this thing. I've had this thing on for six years, and it every night I look at my sleep.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Well, in the Maxium, we always had like the best people that we were working with, like these are like some of your best friends, you know. And so when that would end, it was just like these people that I've been in the foxhole with, and the yeah, we've been in the trenches and the camaraderie by this for the last nine months or whatever, you know, and um and now everyone's going their separate ways, and it's sad.

SPEAKER_04 24:49

Well, that happens in in sports too, in like the Olympics. Like people will win medals, and afterwards it's like, well, what now? Or like when they retire from this amazing career and they've had this purpose they've been working towards forever, like purpose being a really big word there. You know, they've been working towards that for years and years, maybe most of their lives. And then it's done, and it's like they have all this to be proud of. But yeah, it's like now what?

SPEAKER_05 25:16

Now what it's one big empty void, yeah. Yeah, professional athletes in in particular. Yeah. Um, that's why a lot of them get into broadcasting or whatever, because it just keeps them connected somehow. The next one is ooh, the story you tell yourself becomes the life you live. The story you tell yourself becomes the life you live. I can't relate to that, honestly, because I never told myself.

SPEAKER_04 25:45

That is a very like a big mindset tool. Like, your words become reality. Um, you know, I used to train with a person that would say, like, don't put it out there in the world. You know, the second you start complaining or the second you speak something negative, you put it out in the world and now it becomes real. Um, you know, and the words we talk to ourselves more than anybody does ever. You know, we're our biggest coach, cheerleader, or I guess enemy in that it's depending on how you're talking to yourself, you know. So if you're always saying negative things to yourself, you know, those are going to become reality. Um and it takes a practice to get out of that vicious circle that you're in.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

We we've talked a lot about victimhood in past um podcasts, and I that is the first word that came to mind with this question. Um, but I think it's all about perception, right? Like how you perceive your life and you can take it different directions. But I think, you know, Bree, you hit it right on the head.

SPEAKER_05 26:46

Manifestation is believing in a future strongly enough that you start behaving like it's inevitable. Manifest manifestation is believing in a future strong enough that you start believing like it's inevitable. Belief alone isn't magic, but belief can drive the actions and persistence that eventually make outcomes possible.

SPEAKER_04 27:10

I just heard a quote the other day that said, um, what is it? Belief doesn't need evidence. You don't need evidence to know that you can accomplish something. It comes from within. And that struck me so hard.

SPEAKER_05 27:26

Um yeah, belief is believing in something you can't see.

SPEAKER_04 27:29

Yeah, yeah. So a lot of times people obviously we're talking about manifestation. Well, yeah, just the word belief. But um that that too, like when you manifest something. I I was joking with my coach on what day is today? Sunday?

SPEAKER_05 27:45

So Sunday, the 12th of April.

SPEAKER_04 27:47

Yeah. So Wednesday, I was telling him, like, oh, I just need to, you know, put my phone away during training. Um, I just get distracted or like start getting messages, and then before I know it, I'm over in a corner just texting for 20 minutes. Um, and he was like, Well, why don't you leave it in the office or something, you know, just like basic tools that I should know but needed to talk it, talk through it. And then on Thursday night, I dropped my phone in the bathtub and it broke. And all day on Friday, it wasn't working. And I messaged him from my like coaching app, and I was like, Hey, I think I manifested not having distractions during training too hard to the fact that or to the point that I broke my phone. So small, small scale manifestation, but it happened.

SPEAKER_05 28:36

Oh man. So, Brandy, I'm gonna repeat that for you because it's a big sentence. Yeah. Manifestation is believing in a future strong enough that you start behaving like it's inevitable.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Well, I think belief and manifestation are necessary to like get you motivated. And then once you're motivated to do something, that kind of gives you the willpower and the internal drive to go make it happen, right? But if you don't believe in yourself or you don't kind of like envision that as reality, it's not gonna happen, right? We all have to, if we have a big dream or a big goal to go after, like you have to believe that you can do it and then have the steps in place to work to make it happen.

unknown 29:19

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 29:20

Yeah, and it's it's also comes down to um it comes down to like believing in the person you want to be. Because I think a lot of times when people have goals, they think of it as like things that they have to do and not a person that they need to be in order to get those things accomplished, if that makes sense. You know, be who you want to be, not what you want to do. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 29:47

Yeah, easier said than done.

SPEAKER_04 29:49

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_05 29:53

That is all my observations. Uh so here's our here's our our closing question. Jillian, where are you? Um what's a piece of advice you chose to ignore?

SPEAKER_04 30:08

There's so many.

SPEAKER_05 30:13

Well, I I think I was thinking about that question today. Like, I don't know if I can answer that. I mean, to me, it's something like maybe my parents told me to do, like, you know, you're not gonna drink tonight, or you know, you're you're as a kid, you're not you're not no partying, and there's no drinking, or I can't think of anything like a career-wise or professionally, where someone gave me a piece of advice that I chose to ignore.

SPEAKER_04 30:38

Um career-wise, I'd say when I was putting in my notice, I was told not to give more than two weeks, and I did, and then uh book like all my jobs I gave more than two weeks and I regretted it like every time.

SPEAKER_05 30:53

Well, okay. As an employer, I would sure I sure appreciate that.

SPEAKER_04 30:58

You'd think.

SPEAKER_05 31:01

Yeah. Well, if you know, yeah. That's a whole different podcast, but yeah. Um yeah, Randy ever had any advice that you chose. D I ever give you advice you just ignore?

SPEAKER_01 31:16

No, not from not that I can think of off the top of my head. The only thing that really comes to mind is really messed up, but my first marriage, people told me don't do it. And I had a young baby, and I thought that that's what I should do. And I thought I should not have. And um that's probably that's the one that comes to my mind. I'm like, it's so it's so messed up to say, but um it's interesting because I wouldn't trade my son for the world.

SPEAKER_05 31:45

Of course not. Um it's interesting because you got you thought of a good advice that uh that we were given that you ignored. I was thinking bad advice were I'm glad I ignored it. Um you can look at it that way too. What's a piece of advice you chose to ignore, Jillian?

SPEAKER_03 32:06

Um, I would say a big theme and one that I'm actually dealing with right now is the let's be I think it's important to be honest. I think it's important to be honest. Um, okay, I would say that especially getting a little bit older, where like my peer group is older, and my like role model age of people is older, I'm noticing more the people who really feel the best when they play it safe, and the people who are very risk averse. And so I would say that throughout my life, and now that I see that, I can look back on earlier times in my life because I've always been like a risk taker, as some people would say, even though I don't always see it like that. There's a lot of people, like the vast majority of people, who really want you to play it safe and they really want to um advise you to not do the risky things, but then will be the same people who then on the other side of that, when you have seen success, are gonna be excited for you and happy for you, but they told you in the beginning to not do it. Um and those type of people and that type of advice I think is really evident for me now. Um, because there's things that like I'm in the process of starting and wanting to launch for this summer, and then you just notice the people that you talk to about it or want to sounding board with it. Um, a lot of people will tell you not to do things because they're scared of it, and so I just think uh I don't even know how to explain that, but it's just kind of knowing the source or know you have to really know yourself in a solid way so that when advice or input is brought to you, you can feel secure in who you are, so that you maybe do or don't take that type of advice, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_04 34:13

Well, they say like if you want to do something, don't ask for advice because people always speak negativity into it, and not even in like a mean way, right? They just are like want you to be safe and take the safe route because it's maybe what they would do.

SPEAKER_03 34:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:28

Yeah, good point.

SPEAKER_05 34:31

Good point. Okay, one more additional question. I just came up with it because you guys are all positive people, and I want I want to know what's on your minds out there. Um what and this is a brie thing, kind of. I think she's probably asked this of me many times. Um what's one thing that you're looking forward to in the next uh I don't know, two, three months? And Brandy, you can't say you're baby, although that's obviously the answer.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

I love that. As it should be the answer.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

It definitely is.

SPEAKER_05 35:04

It's yes, it should definitely is.

SPEAKER_01 35:06

Well, I think uh kind of along those lines, just being able to like take time and and invest in my family, you know. Um Peyton goes to space camp every summer, and so the baby we're all going down, and um then we're gonna Peyton will be at space camp and then we're gonna take a little extra time and just go to the beach in Florida and just spend a lot of family time together. So I think I'm just looking forward to investing back into my family and really enjoying the time.

SPEAKER_05 35:34

That's a really good one. I love that one. Very positive. Next. Julian. Who's next?

SPEAKER_03 35:41

Great. I can be next. So I um you guys aren't like horoscope people, so I'm gonna sound crazy for a little bit. But um, they say I'm a Libra, and they say that we are now, whatever the planets did, we're like in our villain era where we're like done being people pleasers. Um and I'm like feeling that so much. So I have just been, and I love Brie that you said like don't ask anybody because I'm like have cut off so many people, people that I thought would be like next to me forever, but I finally like have this whatever in me where I'm like, you know what? I need to be looking inside and making decisions from what I want, and you know, realizing that I've never thought about what do I actually want my whole entire life, you know, and so now I'm in this where I'm like, I'm just really looking forward to all the great decisions that I know I'm making because they're coming from a place that feels so much more true to who I am, um, and not having that weird push and pull of like what would somebody else think of this? And so I just I have a lot of decisions that I have making right now and coming up ahead, but I've been very like, I just I feel like for once I know that this might make somebody mad or this might not be what someone else would do, but like I don't care, and so I'm finally there, and so I'm really just looking forward to how all of these decisions will play out because I feel grounded in them and confident in them, I guess for the first time in my life ever of making decisions.

SPEAKER_04 37:24

So how many uh tough conversations have you had to have to get to where you're at?

SPEAKER_03 37:31

So many. I actually this sounds so ridiculous, but I you like are at the bottom of the barrel when you're going through this like shedding of the people pleasing, and it is really it feels like you should be arrested, and like it really feels so bad. I wish that I wish that people I sometimes record myself like I've recorded myself feeling so bad so that I can go back and be like, this is why you change things so that you can no longer feel like that person.

SPEAKER_05 38:06

And that's awesome! Yeah, I have like that's gogging savory savagery. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 38:12

You guys, I'm actually gonna find one and screenshot it and send it to you guys because I look so bad, and I like am saying to myself, you're gonna do these really hard things because it's uncomfortable. You're like shedding an identity, and that sounds so stupid because like you're just a people pleaser, but it is really hard, it's like a huge shift. Um, you I have cut off like every single of my friends except like one. Every relationship is boundaried, every like it's crazy, and I feel like it's very isolating, and I feel like it's very lonely, but also I have some hope with that, but it's a knowing that like this is an actionable just mindset, if that makes sense. But that change, I mean it's like a three-year change, is probably how long it took me to really be like where I'm standing solid now, like where I can just say no. Like, I think last week or two weeks ago, I said no. I didn't give an explanation, and that was the first time, and that's like a literally three or more year process of unlearning. Yeah, but you feel like you feel sick, you feel physically like you're not doing the right thing, and it's so hard to like explain, but then you get over it, you get in your comp your confidence you felt it in your stomach and not your heart.

SPEAKER_05 39:42

Oh, yeah, because I'm nauseated. You felt nauseated. You didn't feel like your heart was breaking, you felt nauseated. Yes, isn't that interesting?

SPEAKER_01 39:49

Jillian, where are you at in the birth birth order in your family? Are you the oldest?

SPEAKER_03 39:54

Uh oldest and only. Yeah. One out of one.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

Yeah, I feel like that's an oldest child. Maybe are you the oldest? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:01

Yep, same.

SPEAKER_01 40:02

I I also feel like that's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 40:04

Me too.

SPEAKER_05 40:05

I'm the oldest.

SPEAKER_01 40:07

I do feel like that is like an oldest children thing too. We have a harder time cutting away from the people pleasing.

SPEAKER_04 40:16

Because you took care of people, you're responsible for more. There's more rules placed on you, there's more expectation. Totally, totally a point.

SPEAKER_03 40:25

And I've had like very dear friends to me straight up say, like, you are so quick to just cut someone off. And I'm like, I was 500% in for forever. And so if I personally am getting to that point, then I feel like it's so legitimate. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 40:42

You're not just being like it takes so many things to get to that point.

SPEAKER_03 40:46

Yep. Not now. Because now I'm like, hi. Yeah, that's that. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

SPEAKER_04 40:54

Yeah, once you like start doing that, it's so liberating.

unknown 40:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 40:58

And you're like, why would I ever put myself through that again? Yep, because you really thought like you were maintaining so much peace by like acting how you were. Um, but then yourself is like the person who's catching the brunt of it little by little. And so then now it's just like it's you feel very free, even though it can feel a little bit isolating, but you do. It's just it's the craziest, I don't know, feeling.

SPEAKER_04 41:24

Well, and if you think about it, like when you're doing things to please others, you know, people pleasing, that's like um the extreme side of just there is like a sense of doing something that's selfless just because maybe that person will do it for you. Or you know, like sometimes it's good to go out of your way to maybe help somebody, but then when you get to the point of you know, people pleasing on the extreme side and you really think about it, it's really not helping either parties, yeah. It's it's making both people like not happy in the long run, you know.

SPEAKER_03 41:53

It's so inauthentic, and I'm like a person that really authenticity and like that is so huge for me. And so I I got to that point because I'm still a helper, like I still love just like giving, loving, and serving other people, but I had to move my anchor from like thinking that I'm doing it for what they think it might be, to no, I'm doing this because it's what I want to be doing, and I know it is sacrificial, I know it is irritating and inconvenient, but that's my choice to do it out of love rather than this is so annoying, but they want me to do it, or you know what I mean, if that makes sense. Because I still think there's a lot of honor in doing those things because it is inconvenient to be in community in general. Um, but that's part of I guess what makes it the human messy thing it is.

SPEAKER_04 42:50

Yeah, I just had to go through something like that, not like a cutting someone off, but I basically had to just, you know, back out of a commitment. For me, it's like more commitments. If I commit to something I feel bad, you know, when I I can't do that anymore. And um, which is so crazy because like I'm sure if you put yourself in the other person's position, you would not be that mad if someone told you no or like you know, it's like on the other side, like I'm always super understandable with people, but for some reason I feel like they're not gonna be that way to me. And so I just had to go through this whole thing. And one of my friends is actually a mindset coach. I was talking with him through this like life change I'm doing right now, which is going to working solely online and from home, which is super scary. And I was just like, you know, I just feel bad, like I committed to this job and these people, and I'm helping them. And he's like, Do you even hear what you're saying right now? Like, you are making yourself miserable and working double time to just not make someone feel bad. Yeah, you know, like, and I was just like, Yeah, that's kind of crazy. Yeah, it was literally that simple. And I said, You know what? You know, and speaking of like manifesting, Jillian, you weren't on. The phone with that. So the same week, I had talked to my coach and told him that I needed less distraction during training. And the night before my next session, I dropped my phone in the bathtub and it broke. But before that, my friend that's a mindset coach, he's like, well, just like picture your ideal day. Like talk me through it. You know, what does your ideal day look like? And I was like, you know, I'd love to, you know, wake up with my boyfriend, like while he's getting ready for work, and then, you know, make a cup of coffee, feed the cats, get ready, and then go into my office and program, and then go into the shed and work out, and then, you know, finish, you know, communicating with my clients and finish house chores and then make dinner and be able to just chill at home with my boyfriend at night. And like, we live in the country, so I was like explaining, you know, seeing the sunset and stuff or the sunrise in the morning. Literally, the week I went to quit my job, I locked my keys in his car. I'm manifesting but in but in like bad ways, but they end up being good. Yeah. So like I left my keys in his truck. He drives to school and I couldn't leave. And I was like, so I couldn't go to my other job, which is an hour drive into town. And I also like was putting my notice in that day, and I wanted to do it in person, but had to do it over the phone because I literally couldn't leave the house, and I ended up like accidentally living my perfect day that day. Like it was a stressful day with a couple conversations I had to have. But like literally, this was the next day, and like woke up, did everything I said to him, and like by the end of the day, I was in the gym or like in our shed gym, and I was like, Man, this was the day I just talked about.

SPEAKER_03 45:36

That's so crazy. Yeah, once you're at some of that in your mind, I think it just the dominoes will fall for you.

SPEAKER_04 45:44

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:46

That's awesome. What do you have to look forward to, Brie?

SPEAKER_04 45:50

Oh, yeah, I forgot the question.

SPEAKER_05 45:51

What are you looking forward to?

SPEAKER_04 45:54

Um honestly, just that, you know, just living my perfect day, not like perfect, but you know, living the day that I my perfect life striving for every day, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 46:06

Gotcha. Well, I'm looking forward to about five things, and this is kind of an update for the podcast and everything else, too. So this is a good opportunity for to answer some things here. Um next week I will be ending my 31.6 my ass campaign where I go to the doctor and find out if I've lost any body fat. And I I've lost 12 pounds, so I'm hoping it's all fat. I hope it's all fat.

SPEAKER_03 46:34

Congrats.

SPEAKER_05 46:36

Um and so I'm looking forward to that, telling my doctor to shove it up his ass next week. And then um then uh I have a June 5th CrossFit competition that I'm doing with a friend. I'm looking forward to that. So that's where kind of where my mind is. Um, and then I'm also, as you all know, uh I'm publishing a book very soon. It's just a lot of work. It's called Cowboys Not Eggheads, which you guys are part of. Um, and it's it's really cool, you guys. I'm really, really excited for people to see it. It's it's it's really cool. Um and then what else is on here?

SPEAKER_03 47:20

Can I ask you a question about this or no?

SPEAKER_05 47:23

You may.

SPEAKER_03 47:24

Okay. Do you think if you wouldn't have gotten sober if you would be publishing a book?

SPEAKER_05 47:33

No.

SPEAKER_03 47:35

Woo! I literally love that so much. The butterfly effect of and would you have gotten sober if you hadn't met Brie?

SPEAKER_05 47:48

No. Boom. I thought we were gonna cry. We weren't supposed to cry in the same time. I'm not crying.

SPEAKER_03 47:53

I actually did cry, but you guys didn't see it because I had no internet out of the Masonic temple where I'm parked.

SPEAKER_04 48:02

You bring that up thing yesterday. Like I'm moving out of my apartment and I came across, well, not came across, it was in like a little envelope, but I picked up Sam's two-year sobriety chip and then put it in my wallet that he sent me last year.

SPEAKER_05 48:17

Oh my gosh. Hopefully next month I gotta pay, I gotta pay my dues and give you a th a three-year one.

SPEAKER_03 48:24

But um my gosh.

SPEAKER_05 48:27

The other the other two things that are very, very exciting that I'm looking forward to are uh I have got a really I'm really lucky to have really good coaches, and I'm really lucky to have a really good guitar teacher who pushes me without pushing me. And that's that's what a good coach is. Um somebody somebody who got me sober without telling me to get sober. Um But he has convinced me to play on stage, like me standing up playing guitar, playing a song at his dad's tribute event in August. As you should so I've been pre I've been practicing every day. And so damn him, now he's got me practicing because I don't want to make an ass of myself. But I I think if I practice twice a day, I can do this. So that's in August. And that that's it's it's it's a it's a life goal that I've had, along with stand-up comedy, but that that's coming. Um that's later on.

SPEAKER_01 49:27

Can we come to this?

SPEAKER_04 49:28

I love one scary thing at a time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 49:32

Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Well, the the the skid is already written, so it's it's just sitting on my desk. But um uh and then uh and then I'm I'm I'm tossing around an idea of a new podcast listener, so I don't I really don't know what the the uh we'll we're gonna air your guys' podcast next week, and then after that'll be the first pure cowboy on cowboys not eggheads, John Ravenscroft. Brandy knows you. Oh, cool. Um he's like a hundred percent and twenty-five percent cowboy. It's so awesome. He's like the only one I could find who would talk to me. Anyway, and then I don't know. I'm not saying cowboys not eggheads is over, but it's gonna be on rest for quite some time. Yeah, but I have a I have a new concept for podcasts, and it's gonna be called the final ten. And um I'll I'll interview anybody, doesn't matter if I know them or not, and there's just one question, and the podcast is gonna be 10 minutes long. And the question is, what are you going to do in the final 10 minutes of your life?

SPEAKER_03 50:34

Oh, that's sick. I love it.

SPEAKER_05 50:37

Ba-boom. So, anyway, listeners and girls, I just want to let you know that um looking forward to something is very, very important. It's something I've done all my life in in very dark days and in very light days. I always, always, since the age of 14, have had something to look forward to. So I'm glad that you all are looking forward to something. And I'm going to be monitoring you all to make sure that we get this done. Um, and I look forward to April 25th when Jillian's gonna come work out with me. Maybe Brandy will come. Um, no, maybe not. Never mind.

SPEAKER_01 51:16

The stairs are hard up.

SPEAKER_02 51:18

Oh yeah, and look at us from the car.

SPEAKER_03 51:24

Exactly. I do have that on my calendar. Good thing.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

I am nesting like crazy though, and I spread 51 bags of mulch and planted some plants, and so I'm the baby's room is not ready. The baby's room is not ready, the crib is not set up, it's not painted, but the landscaping looks great.

SPEAKER_03 51:44

So the yard is mulch, and that's what works.

SPEAKER_05 51:48

That's true. Nesting. Thank you guys for your time. I really appreciate it. I appreciate your friendship. And um, this has just been a little fun three series kind of a deal. Who knows? If we come back, maybe we'll do it, we'll do a fourth. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 52:03

And thank you, Sam, for introducing us to each other because I feel like we've made lifelong friends through this. So this has been really cool.

SPEAKER_05 52:10

Yeah, I agree. I agree. Very rewarding. Tootaloo, mother truckers.